Snake Attack! And Stuff.

Normally I don’t blog about my day-to-day activities but yesterday was such an odd day, I feel the need to share.

First I had bum fights outside my office, all day. Usually bum fights kinda amuse me because I learn new cuss words (always handy on the Ranch – sometimes I have to out foul the truck drivers to get make sure I have their full attention and respect). But the bum fights yesterday were more like bums yelling at me, which I don’t like.

The bums have turned me into a jaded and bad human (for the day).

About the time the cops and fire department showed up and broke up the bum fights, my Mom sent me this.

My Mom stumbled upon pickling recipes on pinterest and she’s been obsessed with pickling things. While pickling peppers and onions yesterday, she sliced her finger with her infamous Wusthof knife (it’s been responsible for several accidents). She drove herself into town, got extra tough stitches (she will be working cattle this weekend, so they needed to be extra sturdy) and drove home. Once she got home, the pain caught up with her. She took her pain pills and I did my best to keep her from pickling more vegetables.

This was my Mom’s second trip to the hospital this summer. It’s becoming the family joke.

While I was covering Mom’s chores for her, my cat, Jack, found a baby rattlesnake on my Mom’s back porch. Of course, I wasn’t really expecting a snake to appear at that moment – I had flip-flops and PJ’s on (hey I work in a fancy office from 8-5, when I get home I make it my job to look as socially unacceptable and to be as comfortable as I can).

My rattlesnake hunting super cat, Jack.

Since it was a baby snake (they are the most dangerous) and I had cats and dogs trying to help me get this snake I had to abort my first kill attempt and get some back up. I felt super bad getting my Mom involved, in her, um pain pill condition, but safety first!

I ran (in my flip flops!) to my Mom’s house, sounded the rattlesnake alarm, put the dogs away, shooed Jack away from the snake and found my trusty snake gig and sharp shovel. My Mom staggered behind with her shotgun (her preferred killing tool).

Some people try and give me a bad time for killing theses snakes. I understand that. My policy is I only kill house rattlesnakes. We have far too many animals around our houses and it’s just not safe for them if we ignore the snakes. It’s ranchlife.

This snake was absolutely terrifying. I could hear him, but I couldn’t see him. I didn’t have enough time to find my snake killing boots, so I was still in my flip flops. My Mom was behind me, on painkillers, with a loaded gun and to make matters worse, Simon heard all the screaming and decided he was going to come say hi.

Simon, he’s not a pet, he’s not really tame, he just shows up sometimes and says hi. And eats my garden.

I used my shovel to move the weeds and hay the snake was in, finally I saw him. Our snake gig is really a frog gig, it’s about the best thing we have found to immobilize the snakes. Once you have the snake pinned down, you remove his head with the shovel. Once you’ve done it a couple a times you get really good at it. The most important part is the snake disposal.

A few old timers always told us that you must keep the head (with the venom sacks), away from the meat bees because the bees will eat it and then, if they sting you the venom can transfer. Or even worse, an animal could eat the head and get sick. That is why we always remove the head, wrap it up and throw it in our dumpster.

Who gets photobombed by a deer while holding a dead rattlesnake? Really?

Everything ended up ok. One less rattlesnake on the ranch, no one got snake bit, and Simon made an appearance. Actually kind of an average day on the ranch.

9 Comments

Filed under Ag, Humor, photos, Ranch life, Rants, Uncategorized

9 Responses to Snake Attack! And Stuff.

  1. This post was cracking me up! Sounds like an interesting day… and I totally we we had a deer tame enough to just walk up in the yard like that!

  2. Excellent post! Just what I needed this week…

  3. Erin Hess

    I love your mom, she’s awesome! Your next project should be a BBQ and a new hat band or belt. lol

  4. Who gets photo bombed by a deer? You do! That’s pretty great. I thought horses were bad for that by that takes the cake so far. Glad the snake got taken care of and the stitches weren’t from a bite. 🙂

  5. NorCal_ASM

    Awesome, hilarious but the mom with a gun on pain pills! That’s the best! Thanks for keeping us entertained!

  6. Just getting caught up on my blogs reads and this one wins the cake.
    This so typical of ranch and farm life yet unique. In my book all snakes are dangerous because I usually hurt myself running away from them. lol
    Great post!!

  7. Barb

    Quite a day and a good laugh! Reminds me of some adventures we’ve had on the ranch. Love your blog.

  8. Jacquie Boake

    After reading this snake story, you or your Mom could be my friend any day!
    It was, after all, just another day at the ranch. You gals rock.

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